Thanksgiving in apology
The Dog picks up her chews each time I am near her den, but expects me to take them from her.
I am sorry for joking about killing myself if I ever got too involved in academia. I had forgotten your son had killed himself.
I am sorry about your daughter’s divorce
and that I could not help but recommend The Easter Parade to her.
I am not sorry for the joke about Protestants because I am a Protestant.
Bar me from all future brunches.
Whether the insect that has just appeared in front of me is a cricket or a wasp will determine my reaction to it.
I am making a new, weak ideal to replace the old, weak, broken one
"I love it," she says to her reflection as the garrote slips round her neck
There is an image of a rusted pipe rotating with great friction between teeth
there’s no end, there’s no glory, there’s a slow resounding story there’s no place to feel certain, there’s no body waiting for me there’s no stand of trees,…
free association notes on an otherwise unrelated poem
Line 1: Pavement, crack, resumption
Line 2: Pavement, seven eyes in a circle, a wall with a lever which opens the floor
Line 3: Zeus, Deus Ex, Plains of Texas
Line 4: Seagulls & trash barges
Line 5: Pulling back a foreskin, phimosis, recurring idea of planting a seed in a slit in my skin
Line 6: Dream I had age 5 of mother leaving due to divorce
Line 7: Cotton Candy, mailman with impeccable teeth
Line 8: Mother, Mother’s Bruises, Incoming/outgoing money, Todd
Line 9: Dead Grandfather, Legos
Line 10: Front door of the old house potentially relating to #6
Line 11: Soap, slick, bathtub, wetness
Line 12: Drainage, “DRAINAGE”, minx, musk
Line 13: Clover, carob tree, death metal band logos
Line 14: Treasure chest, swing set, dinosaur shaped sandbox
Line 15: Sandbox again, “the wall between the treasure and the shovel”, coffin
I was the worst 007 (It is OK to be Pierce Brosnnn now)
I dreamed I had shot a rabbit twice in the side with a silenced pistol
I spend the rest of the dream coddling and attempting to heal it
FORGIVE ME LORD (A DELIBERATE VOMITING)
Your chartreuse party fouls are dripping on
My Defenseless Vibe!
I slipped in your puddle and became the prettiest thing in the room.
Your banana trap has failed, monsignor—
Just kidding, I love everyone
Why would you try to lower someone like that in front of friends?
No, no-no, no
don’t clean it up
the animals will
Etched in inner ear
subconscious sexism via mixing up “The Awakening” and “The Yellow Wallpaper” repeatedly.
new haircut annotating Ellison interviews.
might be first time posting a picture on here
anticipating mass unfollows.
this particular interview was in Y’Bird in 1978 and was conducted by Ishmael Reed, Steven Cannon, and Quincy Troupe.
Reed gets a little grumpy.
"IR: I’m just saying that in essays and interviews you always mention Hemingway as an influence.
RE: Well, he was.
IR: But, you don’t mention Wright. I may be wrong—
RE: You’re wrong as hell [laughter].
IR: All right.
RE: Damn right, you’re wrong as hell.
his insomnia occurs directly from not having earned a night
he wishes he were less afraid of the ocean
knowing that, as a child, tucked in desert, he was enthralled with it
he wishes he were noise
he just sort of does this instead of talking now
it having been months since speech came in an unjumbled way
paradoxically, life gets in the way of my enjoying anything
through a process where seemingly irrelevant yet insistent and stressful aspects of “living”
interfere with the thoughts that’d ideally be in me
in the manner of a camera attempting to automatically focus on two objects at different depths simultaneously, clearly identifying neither, and attempting again
I, like anyone, have the ability to extend any sensation over the entirety of my history
to recall something and shade it with a particular set of emotional colors
If I do not believe I am alive, not really
I am able to extend my deadness over anything I can pluck forward
from the rotary unfocused frames