Gil Scott Heron
Deceased. I am saddened. But not sad.
I am now
Like a cylinder, graduated.
Klonopin until Nine last night, I forgot, and I felt nothing until I remembered I forgot. I am getting the feeling that most of my anxiety is sprouting from the fact I’m an addict not from anything else. Pipe Dream?
Birth-bulbs hang from branches and glow faintly green with mirthful life inside are babies without cords to cut souls without any guilt Is it wrong to be jealous of infants?
Yeah it could look like nothing is there; Cooking in the corner of your bedroom. That’s where things twitch and you can’t tell if the wheezing is your dog’s breath or your own and the creaking is bones and thin walls only amplify the creepiness. Dry-sick-spit on the side of your lips you are fever dreaming that the bed will float gently over the Atlantic and your chills are just salty splashes....
When you were a kid
You did not think you would idolize a heroin addict you didn’t know what heroin was you caught your mom sneaking in packs of cigarettes and you’d throw a fit and she’d say they were for the pool man Glenn Who she was fucking who had a house that smelled fresh and a smile that was charming like a con man without the intent slicked back hair and a bronze tan who could...
maxcapacity: i’m going to spam the spits and the mummies all night because they’re way better than all your favorite bands Throw some ATR in there too.
We need new idioms, we need to stop talking like beatniks.– Alice Glass, on receiving NME’s “Coolest Person of 2008”
Not to say
I am unhappy, actually I’m feeling pretty great.
I told several people
I would be the next Burroughs or Foster Wallace. Why the fuck didn’t I choose someone happier?
Why the fuck do I even have a phone anymore?
Not to get too repetitive with my metaphors
but I am missing an organ both literally and, in the most painful chewingly maddeningly way, figuratively.
Infinite Jest was magnificent. A close rival to Ulysses. So much depth.
Une Deux Trois. Nul. Brain-built bunker walls of bone and cartilage and pink freckled skin keeps mountains of misunderstanding mounted within sometimes it throbs weakly flips and spins and gets sick from the motion; gets queasy and ejaculates erroneous phrases with- excuse me why I go relieve myself, foreign medicines are caking my insides- where was I? Oh yeah the mind which is tapped...
tongue-tied dyed blue with sports drink sucrose gagging red cough syrups tasting like cherry vomit the vomit you released a few minutes prior to the sports drink. recycle.