My psychiatrist diagnosed me as bipolar after I took a ten question quiz. 

He had me take this quiz because I said I was feeling depressed.

All the questions on the quiz had to do with being happy.

He said, “Well I think if we start giving you Lamictal you will feel better.”

I said, “Why didn’t we do this in the first place? Why was I being treated with Lexapro for three years?”

He said he was on my side. He wrote the the prescription.

I told him that I had no intention of filling it and that a ten question quiz with a smiley face on it is not a proper diagnostic tool.

He said he was on my side, but he sounded more annoyed than before.

I told him I was going to stop taking Lexapro and Klonopin, but I would not start taking Lamictal.

He said, “Do what you want, but I suggest giving it a try.”

He says it like we’re talking about whether or not I should eat fucking calamari, but we are talking about putting chemicals in my brain.

I am slowly coming off, and already I can feel my heart twist strangely.